Alone in Marriage

Some of you may be experiencing a season of intense loneliness in your marriage. Maybe you feel like your marriage has been one-sided for a long time. Maybe you feel like you've had enough and you want to "check out" emotional or even leave physically.

Family Life Today is airing a 3 part series this week that will give you hope and encourage you. Susie Larson is the guest and she has written the book Alone in Marriage: Encouragement for the Times When It's All Up to You.

You can listen to all 3 parts online:

• Getting His Attention
  
• Temptations Triggered by Loneliness
  
• Seasons of Loneliness

The Truth About Suicide

On this day, one year ago, my brother-in-law decided to kill himself. There was a lot that he didn't think about before making this horrific, permanent decision.

His suicide caused lots of problems for others. He didn't realize how it would devastate his family - causing his loved ones to blame themselves and each other. He didn't think about how people would feel when they discovered how he died - the emotional and mental problems that his immediate family would develop because of this choice he made. He didn't consider the financial cost to other people - having to fly across the country and miss work for his funeral. He didn't understand that he would be messing up the plans that God had for his future.

Suicide is murder, self-murder. It is a sin - straight from Satan. Every suicidal thought or attempt is straight from Satan. He wants to destroy God's creation. He wants to mess up God's will. When you give into suicidal thoughts, you are giving into the lies of Satan and doing his will instead. You have the power to resist Satan. James 4:7 tells us "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." Turn to God; submit to Him. Stop concentrating on self and think about God, to do His will. You can't live out God's purpose for your life if you're dead.

But it doesn't stop there. Tell somebody the truth. Get professional help. It may seem embarrassing to admit to suicidal thoughts, but dying from suicide is even more embarrassing. My brother-in-law did tell someone a year prior to his death that he had been having suicidal thoughts. But, he didn't do anything else about it, like get professional help.

Your situation can improve. Professionals can offer you the opportunity to talk and work through your problems. They can suggest resources that will help you. They can also prescribe medicine if you have a chemical imbalance that needs correcting. Many people have had suicidal thoughts disappear by just taking a tiny little pill. A chemical imbalance is a medical problem. But left untreated, Satan can use it to get you to kill yourself.

The truth is, there is nothing good about suicide. It won't solve your problems. Suicide will only create many new problems. It will:

• devastate your family and friends
• greatly disappoint God
• please Satan
• ruin God's specific plans for your future
• cause deep emotional pain to others
• Attempts can leave you physically disabled and brain damaged.
  
• Attempts can cause great shame and embarrassment to you.
  

If you have suicidal thoughts, do something about it immediately.

• Change your environment and get around people.
• Call somebody.
  
• Pray to God. Read the Bible. Focus on Him. Sing praise songs to Him.
• Count your blessings.
• Help someone who is less fortunate than you.
  
• Do something that you enjoy.
• Get involved in an activity: go for a walk, read, watch TV, make something good to eat.
  
• Call a pastor or make an appointment with a counselor.
• Make a no suicide contract and plan what steps you will take to keep from harming yourself.
  

If you are planning a suicide, stop. Get professional help now.

• Call 911
• Call a local suicide hot line.
• Call 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).
• Go to the emergency room.

There are many people that can help you. Many people are available to you and wanting to help you. This depression and intense emotional pain you are feeling can go away. God can use others to help you. It is never okay to commit suicide. Getting help is the answer.

If you have attempted suicide before, then I thank God that He spared your life. God has wonderful and specific plans for your life. Because you are still alive and available to Him, God can use you to help others and to do His work on earth. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Believe this. It is the truth. This is God's promise for you. He does not lie. We can trust God and always count on Him to keep His word. You may not understand how your life can get better, but have hope. It will get better; God has something better for you.

The Prosperity Gospel - Giving False Hope

What is it?

• All Christians have the ability to become healthy, wealthy, prosperous and never in need.
• You get to speak what you want in the name of Jesus, and it will become a reality.
  
• This obligates God to give you what you want.
• You can have whatever you want if you use the right spiritual words with the right kind of faith.
• If you're not experiencing prosperity, then it is your own fault.
• Thinking positive will keep the negative from actually happening to you.
• If you admit to something negative, then you can bring that negative thing into being.
• You don't know for sure what you're going to have in heaven, so you'd better get all you can here on Earth.
• Humans use God, rather than God uses humans to do His work.
• God is not Lord of all, we must release Him to work

Many people around the world believe this false teaching. It is especially popular when the economy isn't doing well. As people struggle financially to make ends meet they may turn to Prosperity Theology out of desperation. Some turn to it out of pure greed.

Proverbs 14:12 tells us that - "There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death."

And 2 Corinthians 11:13 warns us - "These people are false apostles. They are deceitful workers who disguise themselves as apostles of Christ."

Scripture Out of Context

The Prosperity Gospel (or Prosperity Theology) is based on faulty biblical interpretation. Followers take scripture out of context and twist the words to support health and wealth. Twisting scripture is very dangerous; this is how cults get started. We must read the message of the Bible correctly. It disappoints God if we live our Christian lives based upon misunderstandings.

When modern mankind thinks of the word prosperous, we usually think of being financially well-off and thriving in personal success. But God meant something different when He included prosperity in the Bible. Sometimes prosperity means that God will give us all we need to grow spiritually or to do His will. Some verses about prosperity refer to the Israelites being successful in taking over the land that God had given to them.

Here are some of the verses that are taken out of context to support the belief of the Prosperity Gospel.

• Deuteronomy 8:18 "Remember the Lord your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath."
  

• Joshua 1:8 "Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do."

• Malachi 3:10 " Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!"

• Mark 11:24 "I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours."

• John 10:10 "The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life."
  

• John 14:13 "You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father."

• Matthew 7:7-8 "Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened."

• 1 John 5:14-15 "And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for."

The Prosperity Gospel Isn't Biblical

It totally contradicts what the Bible teaches. It supports living out our own will. It is believing that our own humanistic way is better then God's way. If we follow God's will, then God gets to make the decisions about what is best for us. Fortunately, He keeps many things from us that we mistakenly think are right for us. This kind of false teaching makes God irrelevant, and His grace obsolete.

As Christians, the Bible tells us to:

• surrender to Jesus and live according to His will - James 4:13-16 "Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” Otherwise you are boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil."

• seek God's will like Jesus did - Luke 22:42 “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

• trust the lord's way even when we don't understand - Proverbs 3:506 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."

• not store up earthly wealth - Matthew 6:19-21 “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be."

• not idolize money - Matthew 6:24 “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

• be content with what we have - Philippians 4:12 "I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. Hebrews 13:5 "Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

• not love money - 1 Timothy 6:7-10 "For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows."

• understand how difficult it is for a wealthy person to grow spiritually - Luke 18:24-25 “How hard it is for the rich to enter the Kingdom of God! In fact, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!”

• not love materialism - 1 John 2:15 "Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you."

• follow Jesus and seek after heavenly treasure - Matthew 19:21 - Jesus told him, “If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

• avoid greed - Ephesians 5:5 "You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world." Luke 12:15 Then he said, “Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.”

• trust in God, not our wealth - Revelation 3:14,17 “Write this letter to the angel of the church in Laodicea. You say, ‘I am rich. I have everything I want. I don’t need a thing!’ And you don’t realize that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked."

• be cautious of false teachers - 1 Timothy 6:3-5 - "If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain."

The Spiritual Danger

This false teaching is impacting Christianity negatively. It is dishonoring to God and teaches lies about who He is to unbelievers. It is like worshiping a false God. People are getting a false teaching about Christianity rather than a biblical teaching. When the name-it-claim-it thing doesn't work for people, then they feel deceived and are turned off to Christianity - even true biblical Christianity.

Christians who follow the Prosperity Gospel's teachings feel let down by God when they don't get what they want. Some feel distant from God or like they aren't spiritual enough. Instead of developing a closeness and reliance on God, these Christians are relying on themselves.

The Emotional Danger

When prosperity doesn't come, some people experience strong feelings of guilt. They believe that they are to be blamed due to their lack of faith. Their embarrassment and shame can create problems in marriages and with family members. This false guilt can lead to depression and low self worth.

Some people make incorrect decisions based on this way of thinking. These decisions can hurt themselves and others. For example: Instead of getting medical help, a person may rely only on her faith and claim healing from God. Another person may make an bad financial decision believing that more money will come if there is enough faith.

Someone is Getting Rich

There are people involved in the Prosperity Gospel that are becoming wealthy and prosperous. They are the ones that are teaching this false doctrine and selling millions of books, CDs, and DVDs about how to become financially successful. These people are living an excessive and materialistic lifestyle, yet they are supposedly doing full time ministry work for God. They see no need to apologize for their million dollar homes and excessive spending, because they consider it a blessing from God.

Is Your Church Preaching the Prosperity Gospel?

Are you going to a church that has taken the focus off of Jesus, the Bible, and God's will for us? Has your church become humanistic? Don't stay and support a church that is teaching lies. If you go to a true Bible believing and preaching church, you can grow spiritually mature and be used by the Lord. That is real prosperity.

If the Prosperity Gospel church tells you that God will punish you if you leave - this is spiritual abuse. That is what cults do to keep people from leaving. False teachers use manipulation to get you there and they use manipulation to keep you there. You need to be led by God to do the right thing, not pressured by people.

If the Holy Spirit is telling you to flee this false teaching then it is more important to obey Him. You don't have to stay because you feel that you should be loyal. Your loyalty should be to God, not to church leaders.

Christian Women and Their Addictions

In the book of Hosea, we are told about a time when the people of Israel had turned their backs on God. They had become a faithless nation that rejected the Lord and His word. It was a time of material abundance for Israel, because God had blessed them. However they didn’t give Him the credit. They even used their blessings to make idols and built temples to false gods. The people pursued immorality and lawlessness. The prophet Hosea warned Israel. He told them that their iniquity was causing problems for their nation and that the Lord would judge them. But they denied they were sinning and therefore refused to repent. Israel began deteriorating, because they had turned from their God. He didn’t want Israel to be destroyed, but He wanted His relationship with them to be restored.

We can apply the story from Hosea to ourselves. There are times that we put our faith in the things of this world instead of God. We may not realize it because we can deceive ourselves. Sometimes we even find ways to justify our sin. But it is so important to listen to the conviction from the Holy Spirit, to confess our sin, and to stop doing it. God wants restoration for us, too. He wants us to grow in holiness and grow in our relationship with Him.

In Hosea chapter 7,
Verse 1a says - I want to heal Israel, but its sins are too great.

Verse 2 says - Its people don’t realize that I am watching them. Their sinful deeds are all around them, and I see them all.

Although they tried to ignore their sin, the Lord saw it. We can’t pretend that God doesn’t see our sins. Our sins make us distant from God and it hurts our relationship with Him. Sometimes we wonder why it feels like God isn’t nearby or listening to us. Maybe it’s because of our sin.

Verse 10 says - Their arrogance testifies against them, yet they don’t return to the Lord their God or even try to find him.

They needed forgiveness for their sins. But they were unwilling to go to the Lord. We’ve been forgiven, because of Christ’s death on the cross. All we have to do is surrender and turn to Him. Then confess, ask forgiveness, receive His forgiveness, and not pursue that sin any longer.

Verse 11a says - The people of Israel have become like silly, witless doves, first calling to Egypt, then flying to Assyria for help.

Verse 14 - They do not cry out to me with sincere hearts. Instead, they sit on their couches and wail! They cut themselves, begging foreign gods for grain and new wine, and they turn away from me.

Verse16a - They look everywhere except to the Most High.

Sometimes when we have terrible problems in our lives, we don’t know how to deal with them. We may look to the wrong people or look to the wrong things to help us. Many of us, even us Christian women, have our secret addictions that we are using for comfort.

Some of our addictions are to: alcohol, prescription drugs, over eating, under eating, exercise, sexually related, shopping, over working, and even TV. We may use addictions to numb or cover up our pain. However, the addiction is not the root of the problem. That’s just the thing that we’re using in order to not feel the pain. But our problems won’t be helped by addictions. It’s time to give up the addiction.

The right thing to do is to turn to Jesus and to trust Him. You can talk with a pastoral or Christian counselor, too. Talking will help you work through the problem. Just don’t turn back to that addiction. See it for what it really is – sin. Commit to turning away from the addiction. You don't need something sinful to give you comfort.

The dependency on the addiction won't go away overnight. But you can ask God for the strength that you need and rely on Him to help you. It's important to:

• Admit your struggle with this addiction to God and to someone else.
• Admit that you need God's help to overcome this addiction.
• Surrender yourself to Him and to the will of God. Seek His will for you.
• Confess your daily failures concerning this addiction and keep going.
  

Here are some ways to get help with overcoming addictions:

• A Christian counselor or pastoral counselor
  
• Hope for the Heart Call Center 1-800-488-HOPE (4673) - Free. Spiritual guidance, heartfelt prayer, honesty, resources, and connections to skilled Christian counselors.
• Breaking Everyday Addictions by Dr. David Hawkins

Romans 12:1-2 tells us how we are to use our bodies to glorify God.

"And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all He has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind He will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship Him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

Dealing With Depression

What is depression?

Those who suffer with depression experience intense feelings of being trapped in sadness, despair, grief, or guilt. When you're depressed, it's hard to see and believe that there is any hope that things will get better.

Depression doesn't just effect the mind; it effects the whole being - body, soul and spirit. It can be situational depression (caused by an event, situation, or illness) or chemical depression (an imbalance that can be helped with medicine). You can have both.

Some of the symptoms of depression are: change in appetite, change in weight, insomnia, hypersomnia, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness or failure, inability to concentrate, feeling overwhelmed with normal tasks, anxiety, avoiding people, irritability or anger, mental confusion, guilt, hopelessness, and no sense of the future.

If you feel that you may have symptoms of depression, then you may be interested in taking the Online Depression Screening Questionnaire and then talking to your doctor about the results.

What to do if you are depressed.

One of most helpful things is to talk about it - it will help you process it. Talking will give you the opportunity to grieve the unresolved pain. Here are some people that you can talk to:

• a professional counselor
• a pastoral counselor in a church
• a biblical counselor at Hope for the Heart
• a spiritually mature person or mentor
• a friend

If you are still experiencing the same level of depression despite counseling, you may have a chemical imbalance. A chemical imbalance is not a spiritual issue and it cannot be fixed by being more spiritual. But a chemical imbalance can improve with medication prescribed by a doctor.

• Antidepressant medication is available at Wal-mart and Target pharmacies - $4 for a month's supply.
  
• If you can't afford to visit a doctor, call your state health and human services department and ask if there is a free clinic nearby.
• Taking antidepressants doesn't mean that you are less spiritual.
  
• You do not need to feel embarrassed about taking medicine for a chemical imbalance. It is just like a diabetic who needs to take insulin.
  

Put your hope in God. Trust Him to make things better. Draw closer to Him. Grow spiritually.

• Thank God for your blessings (even if they seem little) - like 5 a day.
• Memorize bible verses that will give you hope. Isaiah 54:10, Jeremiah 29:11, Isaiah 42:16, James 1:12, 1Thessalonians 5:24, Psalms 130:5, Isaiah 43:2
  
• Grow in prayer with God. If you don't know what to pray - start by praying the words in the Psalms. This is a great time to pray for other people, especially those that are worse off than you.
  
• Commit to perseverance and ask God for help. He will strengthen you and get you through this painful time in your life. There is hope when you trust God and rely on Him for help. If you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus this would be a great time to get to know Him and receive Him as your Lord and Savior. His Holy Spirit living in you will guide you and strengthen you as walk through this depression.
• Listen to positive Christian music that will get your mind off of you and onto the Lord.
• Read the Bible. Story after story tells how God overcomes evil, and how He uses weak people to do His work. If the Bible seems too difficult to understand you can listen to J.Vernon McGee or Pastor David Guzik. They read through the Bible verse by verse and explain it in everyday language.
  
• Depression effects people spiritually. It may be extremely difficult for some people to pray or do spiritual things. This is very common. If this is true for you, know that you're not alone and take smaller steps.
  

Other things to know about.

• Spend time with other people. It isn't good to spend a lot of time alone when you're depressed.
• Do not expect to just "snap out" of depression.
• A woman can get postpartum depression even if she never had it with her previous pregnancies.
  
• Do not make major life decisions while you are depressed without getting advice from others who may see your situation differently.
• Do not accept your negative thinking as the truth.
  
• Tell someone if you feel like harming yourself. Don't dismiss the thoughts and wait until it gets really bad.
• Do some activities that you enjoy and that could make you feel better. Consider volunteering.
• God can use this difficult time in your life to encourage others later.
• Left untreated, depression can worsen.

Conclusion

Life on Earth doesn't always have to be happy. We have to wait for Heaven if we want no more sadness, pain, or death. Even though you struggle with depression, you can have joy in the Lord. You will start to experience this joy in the Lord as you grow closer to Jesus, make yourself available to do God's will, and allow the Holy Spirit to lead you. Please remember that this will take time though. During depression, turn to God for comfort and strength. Only God can truly heal those deep hurts and make you feel whole again. And please remember - things will get better. This is just a season of your life - maybe a long and painful one, but still it is just a season.

How Depression Affects the Brain (an animated video)

Causes of Depression

Postpartum Depression Information

Do You Feel Like Giving Up?

Do you ever have one of those days, or months, where you just feel like giving up?

I have those - when my mind and spirit feels weak and I just don't feel like fighting. When I feel like I've gone through something for years and I've had enough of it. But I know that it is important to hang on. The Bible tells us to persevere. It's important to keep trusting God, even when we feel like things won't really work out. He can strengthen us and keep us going.

When I feel really down, I like to listen to songs that get my mind more focused on the Lord and what the truth is. These following video songs are great to listen to when you feel beaten down and weak. God can give us the strength we need to press on. Please don't give up.

Press On by Selah

Faith in You by Jami Smith

Everlasting God by Chris Tomlin

You Never Let Go by Matt Redman

Cry Out to Jesus by Third Day

Praise You in This Storm by Casting Crowns

You're Not Alone by Meredith Andrews

Married to an Unbeliever

My heart goes out to the many Christian women who are disappointed in their marriage because their husband is not a Christian. I've read some of your blogs and emails and I've learned about the daily frustration that you face. Please don't give up. Your situation isn't hopeless.

Ephesians 3:20 says that God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or can imagine.

While you're waiting on your husband there are things that you can do:

• practice scriptural marriage principles
• pray for your husband
• trust God to work in your husband's life
• get Jesus centered, instead of being self-centered
  

Scriptural marriage principles are for all Christian women - those in Christian marriages and those married to unbelievers.

Ephesians 5:33 tells us that men are to love their wives and women are to respect their husbands. I heard Dr. Emerson Eggerichs talk about this verse on a radio show. He pointed out that the verse doesn't say anything about respecting your husband only if he deserves it. We are to show respect to our husband despite his spiritual condition and lack of spiritual leadership.

1 Peter 3:1 tells us that wives should accept the authority of a husband. A woman's godly life can speak to him without any words as a Christian witness. A husband will notice if his wife is respecting him, honoring his family leadership, and if she is growing as a Christian.

31 Days of Praying for Your Husband is a prayer calendar that many Christian women are using right now. It can be useful to you as you pray for your non-christian husband. Prayer is so powerful and I've seen God do dramatic things because I prayed for my husband.

I really enjoy the radio ministry Revive Our Hearts. Nancy Leigh DeMoss talks to women about many different subjects, including being married to an unbeliever. You can listen to her past programs online:

When He Doesn't Believe Series -
Choosing Love
Demolition Queen No More
The Lip Zip Principle
How to Pray for Him
Hope in God
An Obnoxious Christian Wife
He's Still a Guy
Staying Commited to an Unbeliever

Love and Respect Series with Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
The Crazy Cycle
The Energizing Cycle
Unconditional Respect
When He Won't Respond

Spiritually Unequal Marriage is a blog for women who are married to unbelievers. The blog offers help and encouragement so women can thrive in an unequally yoked marriage.

I hope these resources are helpful to you as you wait and pray for your husband's salvation. Please remember - even if you don't see any evidence of it, God may be working in your husband's life. Keep trusting the Lord and drawing close to Him.

Unplanned Pregnancies

Unplanned pregnancies can be very inconvenient and stressful.

There are different reasons why a baby may be unwanted:

• a premarital pregnancy
• an extra-marital pregnancy
  
• a crisis pregnancy - financial stress, health problems for the mother or baby, rape and incest
  
• an inconvenient pregnancy - due to the woman's age, college plans, career, marriage, family size

However, babies can be a wonderful blessing. We have no idea what God has in mind for every human being, even unplanned babies. God has plans for each human that He has formed in the womb.
Maybe you know a woman who had an unplanned pregnancy.
I've known of a few women in this situation:

• A young woman who was raped during her college years. She kept the baby and that baby was a special blessing and helped her to heal.
  
• A woman who was told that she had to have an operation and the baby wouldn't survive. If she didn't have the operation, she would die. Well, she kept her baby and had the operation after she gave birth. Both the mother and child are just fine today.
• A woman who had no health insurance or way of taking care of a baby financially. But, she found community and government resources that were available and God provided for her and the baby.
• An unmarried Christian woman became pregnant and was worried about what her family would think. Her parents ended up inviting her to live with them and they helped her take care of the baby.

Some women believe the lie that a human fetus isn't a baby until it is born. But, once she has an Ultra Sound, she will see that the baby is fully alive. Very early in the pregnancy, she can hear the baby's heart beating. Here are some places that can help you, or a woman you know, that is pregnant with an unplanned baby.

• Unplanned Pregnancy Website
  
• Your Local Pregnancy Care Centers (they offer free services, counseling, pregnancy tests, and Ultrasounds
• Book: I'm Pregnant...Now What?
  
• Unplanned Pregnancy Resources by Hope for the Heart
  
• Baby Center Site - The Everything Site about Pregnancy and Babies
  

John 16:21 It will be like a woman suffering the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives way to joy because she has brought a new baby into the world.

Forgive - For Your Own Sake

Forgiveness seems to be a reoccurring topic in my life this year. I've heard radio show host and counselor June Hunt talk a lot about it. Other Christian counselors, on the radio, are always pushing forgiveness. I had my own moment with the Holy Spirit when He got through to me (finally) that I had some forgiving to do. Earlier this year, I heard forgiveness on Focus on the Family when they were telling about the YWAM missionary students who chose to forgive a deadly shooter. I just read a book in which the main character needed to forgive. And, Pastor Charles Stanley spoke on the subject during one of his radio shows. I'm beginning to think that forgiveness must be a topic that many of us need to learn about. Those Christian radio shows and books weren't made just for me. Were they?

One of the most important parts of Christianity is forgiveness. Jesus died on the cross for our sins. And He forgave us - before we even asked Him, too. He forgave us knowing that we would continue to sin and hurt Him.

We are commanded to forgive, but it is so hard for us to do. If someone has caused us great pain, in unrepentant, and continues to hurt us - why should we forgive? Well, I've heard that it is for our own good. When we forgive, we are giving up the "wrong doing" to God. It doesn't mean that we accept what the person has done or dismiss their bad behavior. It doesn't mean that we have to become buddies with a hurtful person. But, it does mean that we let the hurt go so that the unforgiveness doesn't make us angry and bitter and control our life.

I've been there. I had a "right" to be hurt and the bitterness gradually took over until it controlled me. It consumed my thoughts, my attitude and my mood. I had a really hard time growing closer to Jesus and serving at church with this attitude. During a worship service, at church, we were singing a song and I realized that I didn't agree with what I was singing. The Holy Spirit was convicting me, so I prayed and told Him that I needed to forgive. I meant it and the heavy, heavy bitterness was lifted. I can't remember the name of the song or even the day it happened. But, I remember the wonderful feeling as the unforgiveness left my heart.

Since then, I've been tempted to not forgive. But, I decide to "Nip it in the Bud" (as my Dad would say). After hearing Charles Stanley speak recently, I realized that I've been holding onto a few little hurts. After I prayed and forgave these people, I realized that the people probably don't even know that they have hurt me. It's just their personality that I let get to me. But Satan knows where to tempt us. And I think he is trying to devour many of us with unforgiveness.

Angry at God?

I've met a few women, lately, who are feeling angry toward God. After Googling "angry at God" I found out that there are many people feeling this way and expressing it on the Internet.

My suggestion is to call people who know what they are talking about. The Hope for the Heart Call Center has counselors available 24 hours a day to receive your call. Tell them that you are angry with God. They will listen and care and offer you hope. 1-800-488-HOPE (4673). It's Free.

This life that we live on earth is not how God intended it to be. When sin entered, because of Satan, the perfect plan got all messed up. And it won't be perfect again, until heaven. God allows bad things to happen, but he also gives many blessings. I wonder how much tragedy He spares us from experiencing. It's easy for us humans to focus on sufferings. We tend to forget about the undeserved blessings that we receive.

I don't fully understand God or His ways. But, I have chosen to trust Him despite the bad things in my life. I've had my share of sorrows, and I expect many more in the future. My favorite song is Blessed Be Your Name. It's a song about Praising God when life is good and Praising Him when life is bad. It's about recognizing that He gives blessings and He takes them away. It's about choosing to always say - "Blessed Be Your Name", no matter what the circumstance.



Above is a YouTube video of this song. Here are the lyrics to Blessed Be Your Name.

Why Me?

What have I done to deserve this problem? Why did those bad things happen to me? Why me?

I don't like problems and I imagine that you probably don't either. Some of my problems I bring on myself due to choices that I make and some problems just happen to me. One thing that I have learned about problems is that we can grow spiritually as we deal with problems.

Basically, whatever happens to me is to help accomplish the purpose God has for me - His will for my life. Therefore, I will have problems and troubles, but I will also have blessings. And they will differ from the problems and blessings of other people, because His will is different for each of us.

How are our present troubles beneficial?

• They will be used to glorify God.
• God will strengthen our spirits in our weakness.
• They make us more godly, like Him.
• He can use us to help others going through the same trouble.

Through our individual experiences, God molds and makes us into what He wants us to be. Each of us is shaped uniquely to fit into His bigger, eternal purpose. He's getting us ready for His heavenly plan. We should surrender to His plan, instead of fighting it.

"That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

Some Resources for Emotional Healing

New Life Call Center (free) This organization offers free prayer counseling. They can also help you locate a professional counselor or support group. They are used to getting 20,000 calls a month. Call 1-800-NEW-LIFE. (24 hours)

Hope for the Heart Call Center (free) Do you need to talk to someone who cares? They are always there to talk, pray or just listen. They don’t offer professional counseling, but they can provide you with spiritual guidance, heartfelt prayer, honesty, resources and connections to skilled Christian counselors. They are waiting day and night to help you in any way they can. Call 1-800-488-HOPE (4673)

Free Suicidal Help Call 911 or 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). There is help for you. People are waiting to help you. It is never okay to act on your thoughts of suicide. Getting help is the answer.

Unplanned Pregnancy Information (free) They will help you find a pregnancy resource center in your area for free services and answers to questions about abortion, pregnancy tests, STD's, adoption, parenting, medical referrals, housing, and many other issues. 1-800-395 HELP or contact them by Email.

Healing is a Choice (book) The power to heal-physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually-is in God’s hands. But the choice to be healed is yours. The author outlines ten choices crucial to receiving healing and ten lies that can prevent you from making them.

Laughing in the Dark: A Comedian's Journey Through Depression (book) Each chapter includes a look into Chonda Pierce's personal journey, insights learned while laughing in the dark,and expert advice from a psychotherapist for those struggling with depression.

Good Grief (book) This book will guide readers through the ten stages of grief: shock, emotion, depression, physical distress, panic, guilt, anger, resistance, hope, and finally, acceptance.

Lose It For Life: For Permanent Weight Loss (book) This is a balanced program that deals with the physical, emotional and even spiritual elements that lead to weight loss. It will help you face the emotional issues that are causing you to overeat.

Self Worth: Molded into the Image of Christ

We need to hope in God's promise - of being molded into the image of Christ.

God wants us to accept ourselves, as He made us. He gave each one of us - a personality, abilities, and talents for His purpose. He wants to teach us more and have us grow more Christlike - into the image of Christ. That way, when the people in our life look at us, they will see Christ.

We should let Him use each of us as He decides best. It is for our own good. When we are following God's will, we will feel valued, and have peace in our heart.

Lyrics: Change My Heart, Oh God

Change my heart oh God, make it ever true.
Change my heart oh God, may I be like You.
You are the potter, I am the clay,
Mold me and make me,
This is what I pray.

© 1982, Mercy / Vineyard Publishing
Words and Music by Eddie Espinosa

How to Run Your Race

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us." - Hebrews 12:1

Some of the weights that hinder us in running our race (God's plan for us) are:

• hanging out with the wrong people
• wrong ambitions
• bad attitudes
• addictions
• some social events that we attend
• some business deals
• some investment opportunities

The Bible tells us to get rid of these things. They need to be laid aside, along with the sin of unbelief. We can trust Jesus and wait on Him, even through our hard times.

We have to keep looking to Jesus for strength - not trusting in ourself, our profession, our experiences, or other people.
"We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith." Hebrews 12:2a

We have a race to run - His plan for us. We have to receive His strength and keep going. Men like Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses kept running their race and looking to God for guidance and strength. The Lord was able to use them in mighty ways. (the witnesses mentioned in Hebrews 11)

And when we feel like giving up, verse 3 tells us to consider Him. We haven't really had to suffer or go through anything as bad as Jesus did. They spat on Him, accused Him, called Him names, hated Him, killed Him.
"Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up." Hebrews 12:3

God puts things and challenges in our lives that make us become better Christian disciples. Correction and discipline are not always punishments. When we've been disciplined by the Lord, it is for our own good and part of His plan for us. God is wise and still on the throne. He chooses what is best for us. And He will give us the strength to endure the race He planned for us. (from Hebrews 12:5-12)

In order to run my race better, I need to get rid of some weights: bitterness, worry, impatience, eating for emotional reasons. These things are just weighting me down and keeping me from serving God better.

How about you?
Are there any weights that you need to lay aside? Have you been experiencing the Lord's discipline in your own life?

Self Worth: The Truth Will Set Us Free

Do you feel inadequate or insecure? Do you second guess your ability or feel like you don't measure up? Many of us feel this way, because of the critical words we have heard during our lives. Those negative voices, of the past or present, tell us that we can't do it. That we aren't valuable.

Why do we listen to those negative voices? They are lies. God's Word tells us the truth. John 8:32 says - And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. We might say:

• I can't do anything right. - but Philippians 4:13 says: For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
• I don't have the inner strength to do it. - but 2 Corinthians 12:9 says: My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
• I don't think anyone could love me. - but Jeremiah 31:3 says: I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love.With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself. And 1 John 3:1 says: See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are.
• I should never have been born. - but Jeremiah1:5 says: I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.
• My future is hopeless. - but Jeremiah 29:11 says: For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Actually, all of us are weak in some areas, and we need Him to help us. If we could do everything for ourselves, we wouldn't need to rely on God. He will strengthen us so that we can do what He has called us to do. Why would he show us His will for our lives and then leave us hanging?

Ephesians 4:1 says - Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God.

Self Worth: Feeling Inferior

Do you find your worth in what you do? Are you concerned that others will think less of you, if they knew what you do for work? Are you self-critical, because you are trying to win the approval of other people.

Galatians 1:10 Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.

It is vital to see ourselves through God's eyes. We are worthwhile to Him. He created us with a purpose.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

He doesn't want us to get caught up in the world's values, but to value what Jesus says is priority. We are to be like Jesus. He came to serve, not to be served.

1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again. God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful.

2 Corinthians 3:5-6 It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God. He has enabled us to be ministers of his new covenant.

Dear Jesus,

I'm tempted to compare myself with others, even other Christians. Sometimes I think - I'm not as "spiritual". I'm not as likeable and outgoing. I'm not as thin and good looking. I haven't finished my college education yet. It's not that other people are being critical of me; it's that I am critical of myself. I give into the feelings of low self worth.

I need to remind myself that you value me. You know what's best for me; you have a purpose for me. How do you want me to serve and minister to others? I want to know Your will for my life and to follow Your way for me.

Love, Shari

True Self Worth

This is what I learned about Self Worth, today. Self worth is the belief that you have value and significance. My true self-worth is not based on what I do, or how I look. I have value, because God gave me value.

I was made in His image. Christ willingly gave His life for me, even though I didn't deserve it.

Romans 5:7-8 Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

John 15:13 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

He designed me to need Him. Jesus needs to be my highest priority. In Him, I will find my true worth.

Colossians 1:15-17 Christ is the visible image of the invisible God. He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation, for through him God created everything in the heavenly realms and on earth. He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see - such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world. Everything was created through him and for him. He existed before anything else, and he holds all creation together.

John 16:13 When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.

Hope: Thinking Back

Sometimes, I find myself going through a difficulty and doubting that things will get better. I forget to hope in God. So, I do a “thinking back” exercise. I remind myself of a time in my past that I didn’t have much hope. It felt like the problem would never be resolved, and that I would never recover. Then, I think about how God helped me through the problem and it’s emotional pain. God helped me to overcome it and therefore it became a part of my past. This gets me believing that the same thing will happen with what I am currently facing. This, too, will eventually be a part of my past. And I want it to serve a purpose, to be something that God can use in a positive way. I want to grow and learn during hard times, so that I will be able to help someone; have empathy for another person facing a difficult situation.

True Hope

Christians can have true hope. This hope isn’t wishful thinking, or hoping in someone to rescue them, or hoping in money or a material item. True hope is in Jesus and Him alone. The Bible is filled with verses instructing us to hope in Him. He promises us so much and His values are unchangeable. That doesn’t mean everything will work out as we want it to, but it does mean that we can trust God to work it out for us – His way, His will, to glorify Himself.

Hope in Jesus is not disappointing.

Romans 5:5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. NLT

We can trust that His hope is best for us.

Hebrews 6:19 This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. NLT

True hope is only in the Lord. We can get help from a caring person, but our dependence is on Him.

Psalm 39:7 And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you. NLT

Lamentations 3:25 The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. NLT

Prayer: Making Hope a Habit

Romans 15:4 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

The following is from the Book: One Minute Prayers for Healing

Give me a deep desire for Your Word, Lord. Draw me to the source of strength and instruction that buoys and builds my faith. When I think, “I know what Scripture says,” humble my spirit and direct me to the passages written to bring me hope this very day.

During difficult times, endurance can be as basic as showing up. I’m here, Lord, with open Bible and hungry heart. I know You will do the rest. - Amen