"Throughout the history of God's people as given to us in the Bible, we see that life is a test. We have before us the option to trust God "no matter what," or to walk away from Him. To walk away from God is to leave the fragments of our dreams in pieces on the floor, but to trust Him is to let God pick up the pieces and make us whole again. When we choose to let Him make us whole again, he will make our lives more beautiful than before."
"What I Learned from God While Quilting" by Ruth McHaney Danner & Cristine Bolley~
The words from this quote "Life is a Test" stood out to me. I did a Bible study on Genesis, last month, and I noticed that when God used people, they had to be willing to change their own plans. Some of them argued with God and doubted that they had the ability to do what He asked of them. Some of the people God used actually gave in to their sinful nature. I don't think that they realized how God was using them - that we would be reading about them and learning from their stories a few thousand years later.
I'm the type of person that likes to make my plans and goals and then see them accomplished. However, things end up usually not going my way. 19 years ago, I had a plan to become a nurse. But, I got married and had 5 kids. I'm still raising those kids and homeschooling them. !9 years ago, 5 kids and homeschooling were not in my plans. I had no intention of putting the nurse dream on hold for this long. There were many times that I grumbled and was frustrated that I couldn't get back to doing what I really wanted to do, especially when I saw other women going back to school.
Things are different now. I realize that I am doing exactly what God wants me to be doing. I really feel like I am living in His will. I've realized that for our family, homeschooling is the best thing for us. It's allowed us to grow closer as a family, travel through out the year, and to teach our children academic and spiritual lessons through real life situations that arise during the day. During this last year, I've felt a conviction to help encourage my children spiritually. Their Christian growth is so important and I have a real desire that they learn about serving God and following His will.
As far as becoming a nurse - I don't want to do that any more. Now I realize that I never really wanted to do it. I liked the idea of being a nurse and I knew that it would be easier for me to get a job. God has given me other interests in counseling and social work and when the timing is right, I'll go back to college to learn about what I really want to do. Jobs in this field won't pay as well, but I'm getting beyond that.
I'm seeing that it's best to figure out what God wants me to do and to trust Him. When I feel like I'm living in His will and being used by Him, I feel content and secure even though my physical world doesn't appear to be successful.